today I dreamed about miscarrying. the setting was medical university, I suppose, or maybe both settings got combined in my memories after, I am not sure. in a dream I went to a doctor, and at first she said I am pregnant, it got me shocked, after I somehow got used to this situation I was told by the same doctor that I misunderstood and I already miscarried it. I cried then, which surprised the me in my dream, because I felt grief over it. then I went to a lecture and I just sat there, half laying down on the table, and then he draped over me with his body and I held his hand, and he told me, he will not let it slide, for that doctor, who at first made it seem like I still carrying it. I felt locked in this dream, as I slept in. It felt nice to have someone to take the pain away, to take over. I feel like this is what I so desperately want. to give away control to someone who cares enough not to turn it against me. Is this because it was my vision since the very beginning? I think it was. I just pretended it wasn't. But I didn't act up enough to either prove against or pro it. and now I am stuck like a rat in a glue trap.