만약 시간을 되돌릴 수 있다면 세상에서 가장 좋은 여자이고 싶어
if i can turn back the time i want to be the best man in the world
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- осами о стінки черепу б'ється вибір катастроф айзека азімова
Posts with tag i
0
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Withdrawn, tries to please everyone but is really passive-aggressive about it. Takes on a martyr complex. Refuses help while throwing a pity party because no one cares about them.»
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Personally, I’m a mess of conflicting impulses — I’m independent and greedy and I also want to belong and share and be a part of the whole.»
— Richard Siken (http://sporkpress.com/1_3/pieces/Editor.htm)
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Life is filled with limitless possibilities you cannot label. It’s with endless twists and turns, with countless moments of joy and sadness. That’s how everyone lives. Sometimes you curl up, and sometimes you reach out. Sometimes you wish to remain a lonely island, but you also wait for loud crashes of waves. It feels imperfect. You were wrong. You just got the wrong answer, then left this world. You just turned off the most beautiful piece of music at its intro. You walked past a pretty flower in the rain.
Your life. That you were so certain that it was only with darkness, it was just your room that you hadn’t flickered the light switch on. It could’ve changed. It could’ve been better. That’s why you were wrong. I really wanted to tell you this. Now… The spring is coming. The snow is melting away, new sprouts are coming up, the day is bright, and the wind is awesome. So I decided that I’ll never get tired of it. Even if it’s just this world, I won’t give up.
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— Solomon’s Perjury
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Все это верно, но при этом легко совершить ошибку: если так широко расстилаешь перед собой будущие страдания, то взгляд невольно отрывается от них и уже больше не возвращается, а ведь сейчас и позднее ты действительно окажешься перед ними, окажешься перед ними реально, весь целиком, с головой, а значит, и лбом, чтобы бить по нему рукой.»
— http://www.kafka.ru/dnevniki/read/1911-nov1
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Такое ощущение, будто меня связали, и одновременно другое ощущение, будто, если бы развязали меня, было бы еще хуже.»
— http://www.kafka.ru/dnevniki/read/1910-dec
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Мое состояние — не состояние «несчастности», но это и не счастье, не равнодушие, не слабость, не усталость, не интерес к чему-то, — тогда что же оно такое? То обстоятельство, что я не знаю этого, связано, вероятно, с моей неспособностью писать. А ее я, кажется, ощущаю, не зная причины. Все вещи, возникающие у меня в голове, растут не из корней своих, а откуда-то с середины. Попробуй-ка удержать их, попробуй-ка держать траву и самому держаться за нее, если она начинает расти лишь с середины стебля. »
— http://www.kafka.ru/dnevniki/read/1910-jul-nov
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So tired
I was trying to find a better way but every day's the same
I'm trying to break the numbness and it's driving me insane
You could be my saviour, you could be just what I need
So I lay down and pray for something better
»
I'm rarely ever sad when I'm around him because he's always talking about something and it takes my mind off of things I was worrying about. Our friendship has always sort of revolved around one of us following the other around like a duckling- before high school he followed me, and now I follow him.
у всех все одинаково. мы все одинаковые.
Ever since last year I've developed this horrid/wonderful aching crush on him and that just makes my "festering wound of emotion" even worse. Before I told him about those new feelings I was absolutely frantic, afraid of what might happen if I did, but what might never happen if I didn't. When I finally did it gushed out of my mouth like a broken faucet but at the same time I didn't get to say everything I wanted to. He had this hilarious look of confusion the whole time, but when I was finished he told me it was fine. It was an enormous relief that he didn't reject me or become awkward with me after that. We're not together or anything but he tolerates my mother hen behavior towards him, even knowing the motives behind it. He's not a very romantic or sexual person. I wouldn't mind that at first if we entered a relationship, though. I'd like to think I could crack him out of that shell eventually.
я не понимаю
у всех все одинаково. мы все одинаковые.
Ever since last year I've developed this horrid/wonderful aching crush on him and that just makes my "festering wound of emotion" even worse. Before I told him about those new feelings I was absolutely frantic, afraid of what might happen if I did, but what might never happen if I didn't. When I finally did it gushed out of my mouth like a broken faucet but at the same time I didn't get to say everything I wanted to. He had this hilarious look of confusion the whole time, but when I was finished he told me it was fine. It was an enormous relief that he didn't reject me or become awkward with me after that. We're not together or anything but he tolerates my mother hen behavior towards him, even knowing the motives behind it. He's not a very romantic or sexual person. I wouldn't mind that at first if we entered a relationship, though. I'd like to think I could crack him out of that shell eventually.
я не понимаю