The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.»

When people are in a loop, they can become “extreme introverts” who get lost in their own subjective delusions or “extreme extraverts” who never stop to reflect on their actions. Looping inevitably causes many problems as people get poor results from their actions and then avoid the poor results by staying in the loop. A looping pattern can go on for a long period of time if a person does not realize what is happening and there is no catalyst to provoke change. On some level, deep down inside, people in a loop know they must change but they simply cannot bring themselves to because they fear opening up the ego to a challenge. When tertiary temptation leads to a negative result, a person has a choice to make: heed the advice of the auxiliary function to solve the problem for good (exit the cycle) or once again use the tertiary function defensively to avoid the problem. The longer a person is in a loop, the more unhealthy their behaviors become, and the more they will be at risk of inferior grip episodes as the dominant function becomes too extreme/overworked and eventually shuts down when confronted with the stress of mounting problems (thus defeating the original purpose of the loop in trying to protect and preserve the ego).»

Because the tertiary function is oriented in the same i/e direction as the dominant function, the dominant can “recruit” the tertiary in its defensive maneuvering to regain a sense of power or repair the integrity of the ego (like a band-aid). Unfortunately, the high price one pays for this very fleeting and false gain in power is losing touch with reality, which only serves to decrease one’s ability to handle future challenges. »

“We made a promise to never change. We swore we wouldn’t change until we died. I thought we wouldn’t change. I thought we were enough for each other. Who is the bad one? Is it the one who changed? Or the one who couldn’t change? You and i are two non-matching puzzle pieces. We’ll only hurt each other if we force the pieces together. If i make myself smaller because i’m scared of hurting someone i love, the jagged parts stab me. It hurts when i get closer, it kills me when we grow apart.”»

“I thought that people only got lost when they tried to go somewhere. And I thought that people’s lives only got hard because they set objectives. But staying in the same place for too long makes you lose your way too, it seems.”»

Withdrawn, tries to please everyone but is really passive-aggressive about it. Takes on a martyr complex. Refuses help while throwing a pity party because no one cares about them.»

Personally, I’m a mess of conflicting impulses — I’m independent and greedy and I also want to belong and share and be a part of the whole.»

Life is filled with limitless possibilities you cannot label. It’s with endless twists and turns, with countless moments of joy and sadness. That’s how everyone lives. Sometimes you curl up, and sometimes you reach out. Sometimes you wish to remain a lonely island, but you also wait for loud crashes of waves. It feels imperfect. You were wrong. You just got the wrong answer, then left this world. You just turned off the most beautiful piece of music at its intro. You walked past a pretty flower in the rain. Your life. That you were so certain that it was only with darkness, it was just your room that you hadn’t flickered the light switch on. It could’ve changed. It could’ve been better. That’s why you were wrong. I really wanted to tell you this. Now… The spring is coming. The snow is melting away, new sprouts are coming up, the day is bright, and the wind is awesome. So I decided that I’ll never get tired of it. Even if it’s just this world, I won’t give up. »

Все это верно, но при этом легко совершить ошибку: если так широко расстилаешь перед собой будущие страдания, то взгляд невольно отрывается от них и уже больше не возвращается, а ведь сейчас и позднее ты действительно окажешься перед ними, окажешься перед ними реально, весь целиком, с головой, а значит, и лбом, чтобы бить по нему рукой.»

Такое ощущение, будто меня связали, и одновременно другое ощущение, будто, если бы развязали меня, было бы еще хуже.»

Мое состояние — не состояние «несчастности», но это и не счастье, не равнодушие, не слабость, не усталость, не интерес к чему-то, — тогда что же оно такое? То обстоятельство, что я не знаю этого, связано, вероятно, с моей неспособностью писать. А ее я, кажется, ощущаю, не зная причины. Все вещи, возникающие у меня в голове, растут не из корней своих, а откуда-то с середины. Попробуй-ка удержать их, попробуй-ка держать траву и самому держаться за нее, если она начинает расти лишь с середины стебля. »